Why won't this shit do itself

Honestly ready to hurl my shit at the wall.

It's not my last day at work afterall. I'm back tomorrow.

Fml.

Incomprehensible

Hey guys,

I've just spent the past half hour looking at beach houses (for the long weekend) and seriously, I am gobsmacked. I pretty much have to pick up my jaw from the ground after letting it drop. These holiday houses are AH-FREAKIN-MAZIN'!!!!!

How can people afford these *-* oh my gosh.

All of a sudden, I have an urge to make a shitload of money so I too can have one of these in the future.


Fuaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr. Seriously, is this the real life? Do some people really live like this everyday? Do they have money trees?!

One of these places even had a 6 hectare farm with a SHETLAND PONY.


... A Shetland pony?!


I gonna go and lay down for a bit and seriously reconsider my 10 year plan.

3 modes

Lately, I've discovered that I only have 3 modes.

1) Work mode
2) Zombie mode
3) Friday night mode

1) I am vibrant, awake and ready to work! Enthusiastic, happy and smiley is how I would describe my exterior. But I feel like everything I say has been said before (over and over again), and it's just all programmed to come out at the right time. At work, if you know your shit, you're good. This comes with experience. I think people at work think I'm fun. Ha!

2) Zombie mode is what I am like as soon as I walk out of the building at night. This lasts all weekend, and is usually turned off an hour or so after my first coffee!  Zombie Belle is quiet, out of the loop and quite often stares into space. I think you could scream abuse at me and I would not notice.

3) Friday night mode is usually activated after a drink or two after work. This is the most relaxed I will be because Monday morning seems very far away. The weekend has just started, so dude, just have fun. I can further elaborate on why Fridays are great - I freaking love it to bits!


Before I sleep on Thursday night, I plan my Friday outfit. It has to be conservative enough for the office, but chic-ish for a night out. AND YOU KNOW WHAT - I finally have the wardrobe to facilitate this. This post has taken a really vain turn. Hahaha.

If you dress nice, you have more confidence. When I have more confidence, everything I say sounds more legit. Forreals.

Favourite time of the week, EVER.

Corporate Fridays:

Last Friday, the partner came down to tell us "OK guys, I'm gonna be at the Glenmore from 3.30 - you all have to come blahblahblah".  So after lunch, I freaking worked like a machine to get my shit done and left work at 4.30.  Did not end up getting to the Glenmore until late though, because one of the other teams and ours decided that it was a perfect day for a pubcrawl (and it was!).

At the first stop, an annoying manager was the topic of our discussion. The general consensus was that he needed someone to unlodge a giant stick from his rectum, but all of a sudden, one of the seniors (who was really smashed at this point) yelled out "he just needs to get laid". Everyone laughed because it was funny. But then she continued with "if I slept with him, I think my life would be a lot easier". The laughter became awkward laughter which slowed and died down real quick as everyone grabbed their drink to avoid having to say anything.

Usually, when this sort of topic comes up (hypothetical question is usually "would you sleep with a partner if it guaranteed fast progression through the ranks?") everyone gives a vague answer like "yeah maybe" or "NO, don't you have an ounce of self respect?", but NO ONE ever brings up a name. The hypothetical questions are never "Would you do ______ to get better ratings?". You just don't because it would get hella awkward if word went around. 

But she broke this unspoken rule.

And all hell broke loose.

People were throwing out names, lists of people they would "shag" (lol I love the English) to get ahead, and out of curiosity.

WHAT THE HELL.

I am not used to this - this is all a bit too liberal for my liking. Work is work, life is separate - you can never let the two merge because it gets messy and awkward. I gave my standard response when they asked me - you don't shit where you eat, and I got boo-ed. I'm not scandalous enough for them. Thank god.

So now I know everyone's "top 5"'s in the office and how freaky my colleagues can get after a couple of drinks. Needless to say, Monday morning was weird also. The girl who got really smashed cornered me as I was buttering my toast in the kitchen and apologised profusely.


ANYWAY, even though it was freaky and weird, it was a lot of fun to get to know more colleagues on a slightly more intimate level (lol).

A few pubs/bars after that eventful first scene, I went to dinner/sangria night with some old workmates/cadets and finally had some quality banter. I miss the banter and legitimate good times.

What started out as a wild night ended tamely - which is much preferred.

I think once uni starts, Friday will lose it's meaning to me.

Finishing up at work on Monday (fingers crossed that doesn't get pushed any further), so I'll cherish tomorrow - my last corporate Friday until July.


I haven't done a recount post in forever, but I figured this was worth jotting down.

To all my conservative readers, sorry for the subject and my swearing - it's just work. I'm glad its finishing up. I'm so over it now hahaha.


Update on the innuendo guy. I told him "can you not? Your innuendos are inappropriate." And do you know what he said? 

He said "in your end-o". 

freaking facepalm.  

Life of audit = life of a paperbitch

Every year on this client, I insist that we do everything in soft copy. But every year my client gives me the same old lame excuse and gives me a stack of paper.

I'm pretty anal when it comes to my work, I think. I don't like to give managers an excuse to catch me out. I'm gonna take some time out today to commend myself on this. I work with a lot of people who half-ass their way through the day and it annoys me because managers pick me out to follow up their crappy efforts.

In saying this I'm really glad that the higher ups have started noticing that I put in the extra mile.

In other news, I'm getting bothered by a colleague and his innuendo jokes. Outside work, ok yes. But not in the office, or through email please.


Please.

Plain Jane

Opposites do attract. I say this because I'm sure too much similarity repels! For the first time ever in the history of my coffee drinking, I ordered a flat white. Just to be different from my friend. But I missed the foam in my usual cap :(

DIGRESSING

Without sounding too whingey, sometimes I wish I was more interesting as a person.

I hadn't seen C in about 2 years and the other night I found out that I haven't changed as much as I had hoped.

Although I may have "blossomed" (haha I'm not even making this up!!) I am exactly the same person inside.

Still indecisive as heck.

No idea what I really want to do.

And as much as I hate admitting it, I'm still a clinger.

I cling onto old stuff, comfortable stuff, old memories...

It's about time I got off the fence and started forming an opinion. No more sheepness.

No I just need to find some motivation.